According to FaceBook

When Clinton or Heidi Sage do something funny, I tend to jump on FaceBook and share it with "the world".  However, there is no permanence to that and I want to make sure I remember a few of their funnier moments.  So this whole post, is status updates I've copied and pasted from my FB profile.  If we're friends there, then you've probably already seen these....if not...enjoy!

Last night Clinton asked me to take him to The North Pole. I told him it was too far. He told me I could drive my car really fast.  11-5-10

I can't be totally sure, but I think my son might be bowing up here!?! Oh, geez...we may have a long road ahead of us. :-)  11-5-10

The Target gift catalog came in the mail today. Clinton has said the following things in the past 15 minutes..."Mom, I love my new book. It's awesome!" "Can you read me my new book? Really cool stuff in there." "This is the best book I have ever seen!" And yesterday he asked if he could go out on the front porch and wait for Christmas to come, as if it was going to come driving up the street...  11-3-10

Even though I have built Clinton real tents in the backyard, his response to my 30-second build with 4 dining room chairs and a sheet was, "Mom...this is the greatest tent I have ever seen!"  10-27-10

This past Christmas we took the kids to Sea World while in San Antonio. After some discussions with Clinton this week, it became apparent that he not only believes all killer whales are named Shamu...but that they also ALL live in Texas.  10-19-10

Our children are proving to have some very thick Southern accents. Stairs=Stayers, There=Thayer, etc. Rodney blames my Texas roots, I blame his West Virginia ones...but maybe Tennessee is to blame...  10-14-10

Well, crap....just went in the kitchen to find Heidi Sage had slathered herself with a stick of butter I left out on the counter. All may not be going as planned...  10-13-10

Phew...Clinton just asked about his pet caterpillar that died two weeks ago. I never told him and thought he had forgotten, but he just saw one on a cartoon. I told him it got sick and asked to go back out in the yard where he could get better. With a pouty lip and puppy dog eyes Clinton said, "Oh, okay."  10-13-10

While playing The Very Hungry Caterpillar game. "No, Clinton, you're supposed to be collecting fruit at this stop, not cake." "BUT Moooo-oooom...it's fruit cake!" "Oh, alright...."  10-11-10

"Mommy, this girl's 'maked'. Look! Wots of dem!" said clinton upon finding his cousin's barbie stash.  10-10-10

Just finished a mad round of play time with Clinton. Tonight's feature: The Princess and the Builder. I got to be the princess. He helped build me castles out of blocks using his crane truck. I think my favorite party was being called "Mommy Princess" 12,000 times.  10-7-10

Just shared one of my secret Milanos with Heidi Sage. I must really love her.  10-7-10

Heidi Sage is glued to the Texas game on TV and Clinton just told Rodney he doesn't live in Tennessee, he lives in Texas....I promise I haven't been brainwashing them (intentionally), but I like how this is playing out.  10-2-10

Conversation with Clinton while planting flowers: "Oh, Mommy look at this white worm!" Scopping him carefully into a shovel. "Mommy, I love this worm." Picking him up delicately. "He's so cute!" SCREAM! "Aahh, he bit me!" Drops worm. "I want to squish him." 5 second silence. "He's DEAD!" Moves on.  10-1-10

Trying to get my kids out of the bath, and Clinton decides he needs to poo-poo...we scramble to get him to the potty in time. As he's doing his business, a naked Heidi Sage squats on the floor beside him....AND POOPS!  9-30-10

Clinton has already mastered the art of displacing the blame. After getting in trouble and being removed from the Chick-fil-A playground, Clinton recovered and responded in his pitiful voice with, "Mommy, I sorry I made you mean."  9-29-10

For the past year telling Clinton his teeth were going to fall out if he didn't brush them has resulted in instantaneous responses of teeth brushing...BUT THEN his six year old cousin has recently started losing hers and getting paid for them by the tooth fairy. Now Clinton's not so sure about my logic. He really wants the Dragon Castle at Target.  9-27-10

Rodney's taking a bath with the kids. Clinton has him playing "friends" with a Happy Meal skate board and a new motorcycle we got today. Rodney the skateboard to C: "Hey, friend. I haven't seen you before. Are you from Thompsons Station?" Clinton the motorcycle to R: "No, I'm from Target."  9-20-10

Just wondering how much judgement was passed on me today by Heidi Sage's teacher when she realized I forgot to take her pajamas off of her before getting her dressed!?!? I feel I need to send her an email to the tune of, "I'm not an idiot, BUT...."  9-16-10

So, apparently Clinton thinks when I drop him off at preschool that I come home and play with his toys. He didn't quite understand that Mommy comes home and works...he just looked at me like, "Yeah, right."  9-14-10

So Clinton may have learned a thing or two from yesterday's episode. This evening he shut Heidi Sage out of the club house then taunted her through a peep hole saying, "Do you have your keys?"  9-13-10

Just served Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes with sprinkles for dinner to two very excited toddlers. Rodney's probably glad he's getting wined and dined in Europe. And I should probably go to the grocery store.  9-13-10

So I may have been a bit emotional when Clinton locked us out of the house...I'm just a bag of hormones at the moment. So, to make up for it, Clinton bought me a "skushy" at Sonic with the slushy money his Bebe sends him. Actually, he bought me a vanilla coke...but he thinks it was a "skushy". He was so excited to do something nice for me. :-)  9-12-10

In case you noticed the fire truck parked in front of our house, no worries--just another day at home with Clinton. :-/ Locked out in the back yard with lunch in the oven. Good times.  9-12-10

Dropped Rodney off at the airport this morning. We all shed a few tears as we drove away...but Clinton definitely won the crying contest.  9-11-10

Heidi Sage is 100% sweetness wrapped up in an adorable little package. Her spontaneous hugs are the best.  9-9-10

Not sure the pic does it justice, but watching these two cruise around the cul-de-sac is priceless!  9-5-10

When they start bypassing the chips and just dipping their fingers into the queso for some finger-licking goodness, I think it's safe to say they like it.  9-4-10

Cleaning the house getting ready for a showing in the morning. Sent Rodney upstairs to watch a movie with the kids and let them wind down...all I can hear is Rodney roaring like a monster, two kids screaming their heads off, and little feet running up and down the playroom. Could be another late night here...  8-27-10

All is good and well at the playground until your child goes missing, only to find him being the one standing under the playscape, shorts around his ankles, peeing all over the mulch. Oy.  8-24-10

So, last night I got an email from a friend that I totally stood up. As I'm reading the email and realizing what I had done, I said to out loud to myself, "Oh, crap!" Clinton, always within earshot, starts running around the office searching the floor saying, "What crab, Mommy? Where's the crab?" "I don't Clinton, I think it went under the armoire." :-/  8-11-10

Clinton had to run and go potty during dinner. When we returned, Heidi Sage had Clinton's dinner squished in her two fists. He looked at me and said, "Dat's discussing, mommy." Not amused at all, he wouldn't even touch his dinner after that.  8-10-10

After I told Clinton he couldn't have cookies for dinner, he went after his father who also gave him a negative. Clinton's response?? A very teenager sounding, "Ahhh, come on!" which was later followed up with..."Are you kiddin' me?" Does it really all start this early??  8-6-10

When eating an Oreo today, Clinton pulled the cookie apart, ate the side with cream and handed me the other side. When I told him to eat that too, he responded with, "No, mom. I can't. Too hard. My teeth will break and fall out."  8-3-10

My son thinks I'm a genius. Everything I tell him to do lately he responds with, "Yeah. That's right. That's a great idea, Mommy."  8-3-10

While it is difficult to tell your kids they can't have any cookies (because they haven't had dinner) as you stand in front of them eating ice cream out of the carton (because you are pregnant)....it should be noted, that it can be done.  7-27-10

Clinton talks in his sleep, just told us something about "you can't have snacks on the train".  7-24-10

I had it all planned out. No nap for Clinton today. 7:30 drive through the country. Sleeping babies upon arriving home. BUT...Clinton locked the keys in the truck... And Rodney won't answer his phone so he can tell me where he put the spare key... And I think there might be steam coming out of my ears.  7-22-10

Heidi Sage is pretending to eat something out of my hand. Not sure what it is, but she sure thinks it's delicious.  7-22-10

Wondering why we ever encouraged Clinton to talk. I have been absolutely mortified lately over some of his way too loud comments. "Mommy, what's wrong with her teeth?" (Meth head) "Mommy, why does he have boos-boos all over his face?" (Facial birthmarks) "Mommy, where is dat man's arm?" (Missing limb) The response of "Shhhh", just makes him ask the question loud. Oy.  7-21-10

The train wreck we saw yesterday made the Odessa paper today. Clinton got to learn how the "news" works....which was an interesting concept for him to grasp. But of bigger concern, was whether or not the train got a band-aid.  7-17-10

Came up on a train wreck that just happened. We had to drive clinton by it 4 times. A million questions asked and still begging to see it again. He's very sad about the bwoken twain.  7-16-10

When exiting the plane, if you are told, "You're such a wonderful, patient mother." is that a compliment to you, or an insult to your children? Hmmmm...  7-12-10

Another fabulous round of parenting by Courtney and Rodney--we rented Monster House last night to watch with the kids. Uhhhh...scary. Ranks right up there with me letting Clinton watch Coraline. Of course, he loves it....is upstairs watching it again....and will probably never sleep in his own bed...ever. 7-10-10

‎"Mommy?" "Yes?" "Mmmm...I have a pwoblem." "What is it?" "I don't have a popsicle." --The never ending sagas of a three year old. Sigh.  7-8-10

After watching my daughter try to flush an unopened jar of olives, it dawned on me that maybe Clinton is not responsible for all the toilet incidents we've had lately. I think I owe someone an apology.  7-7-10

Using your child's fear of spiders to motivate them to move faster may not be good parenting, but it works....and it's kind of amusing.  7-6-10

Heidi Sage will not watch TV for anything....she is currently completely mesmerized by Paula Deen.  7-6-10

I have two children who are SCARED TO DEATH of fireworks. We live in a town with no ordinance against fireworks. This town currently sounds like a war zone. I now have two little scaredy cats sleeping in my bed and a whimpering dog under the bed. :-/  7-4-10

This morning Clinton and I were watching Heidi Sage play. I said, "Don't you want to just eat her up? She's so yummy....mmm, mmm." He looked at me like I'd lost my marbles and said, "Mom! She's not a snack."  7-1-10

The shark saga continues...Last night we went to pick up the kids at grandma's after dinner. When we walked in they were watching "River Monsters", and this episode was on bull sharks. Clinton informed us the shark had eaten a little girl. WHAT???? Rodney took Clinton fishing today at the lake...."Daddy? There sharks in the lake?" "No. Just fishies." "Just wittle fishies? They nice fishies?"  6-26-10

As if the irrational, BIL inflicted fear of sharks wasn't bad enough, Clinton and I were just looking for an alligator clip art on Google for his alphabet book and we came across this picture. Now he thinks we have to watch for alligators at the front door. Oopsie.  6-23-10

I spent 30 minutes this morning getting kiddie pools blown up and filled with water only to have Clinton tell me, "I can't swim in there. There's sharks." To which I replied, "I don't see any." His response, "There wittle sharks." Curse you Brian Bell!!!!  6-23-10

When I informed Clinton we didn't have the red train he was watching in his movie, he responded with, "Mom...it's in Target. C'mon let's go."  6-17-10

Clinton and I are making bird feeders out of toilet paper rolls, peanut butter, bird seed and some yarn. He is stoked. I'm just glad we're inside...it's another scorcher today.  6-14-10

Clinton has had his "pack-pack" (backpack) on for two hours and keeps telling me, "I'm weddy to go, mom!!". Our plane doesn't leave until 2.20p. :-(  4-16-10

Last night Rodney was doing "This little piggy" to Clinton's toes. During the 2nd run-thru, Clinton yelled "STOP!" when Rodney got to the "roast beef" piggy. Clinton said, "That piggy want pa pies!" (french fries)  3-27-10

Ha ha! As I'm typing, Clinton is trying to take his head off. I told him heads don't come off so he tried removing mine. Weirdo.  3-9-10

I bought some disinfecting wipes today and taught Clinton how to wipe the potty after he pees all over it. He enjoys it so much we may be buying more than he had planned on!  3-9-10

Wow-- things sure change in a week!! Clinton's new favorite saying is, "I can't like that." and Heidi Sage is walking!  3-6-10

In order to keep Clinton interested in the Opening Ceremonies we've been playing the "What color is that flag?" game with lots of celebrating for the correct answers!  2-12-10

Watching Clinton mow the snow!  2-1-10

My husband just said my dinner was "edible". Mmmm....bite me.  1-29-10

I just showed Clinton this profile picture and asked him who it was. He said, "It's mommy. Mommy a princess." Is it wrong to tell him he's right??  (After showing Clinton a picture of Heather Graham.)    1-28-10

The fact that Clinton is jumping up and down on the bed saying, "Yay!! My party! My party! Wee-hooooo!" makes me think he doesn't understand that his party is next week....not right now. Note to self....don't mention parties too far in advance. :-/  1-28-10

My other Little Longhorn...we've been ready ALL day!  1-7-10

Get your game face on! Go Horns! 1-7-10

If I wasn't home alone with the kids tonight, I'd be two glasses into a bottle of Shiraz right now. Instead, I've taken a nose dive into the chocolate stash. Potty training sucks.  1-6-10

On a whim decided to potty train Clinton today. So far, so good. Rewarding with M&Ms for #1 and Little Debbies for #2. We have a timer that goes off every 20 minutes to remind me to ask, "Do you need to go potty?" Should be a fun day. :-/  1-6-10

Clinton just told me, "Mommy, NOW!!! NOOOOOOOWWWW! NOW, Mommy!" I think maybe I've said that a few times to him. Maybe. :-/  12-20-09

Loves that my kids like being scared! We play lots of monsters around here!  12-10-09

Playing trains. Clinton is Thomas and I am Skarloey. There are lots of rules on Clinton's track!  11-16-09

Kryptonite is to Superman as Sprite is to my cell phone. :-( Thanks, Clinton.  10-29-09

Pulled Heidi out of the exersaucer to find the feet of her pajamas all dirty. It appears someone put mud in the bottom of it. I'm not certain who the culprit was, but I have a pretty good idea...  10-16-09

Just cleaned an entire pound of Nesquick powder off the kitchen floor...and I didn't even yell at the culprit. He did have to sit in his room, though.  10-7-09

Courtney Creech Williams is getting "shots" in her ear from Clinton. Somebody's had too many visits to the Dr. recently!  9-21-09

 After a lot of translating for Rodney this evening, I realized I speak both English and Two Year Old. I'll be adding that to the resume.  9-4-09

Love that we got to sleep in our own beds last night. Clinton was much more comfortable and slept well. He's still very dependent on pain meds but doing well. He has found his "boo-boo" and likes to show it to everyone!  7-30-09

 Just found clinton on the deck with a tub of ice cream, a spoon and a smile.  7-27-09

Love watching Clinton being an awesome big brother. Heidi gets more kisses than Mommy! 5-6-09

Got growled at by my 2 year old today!  5-1-09

Courtney Creech Williams is so happy to be holding Heidi Sage Williams in her arms.  3-27-09