Poor Gracie Mae...and Chelsea

This morning I realized how much we truly are ignoring our beloved Gracie Mae. There was once a time when Gracie Mae was the center of our household, and I wondered how I could love a child more than I loved her. Well, I now have a child that I love more than I ever imagined I could love someone....and a dog that I still love the same as before, just with a lot less attention. Sometimes I do still play fetch with Gracie but it's for Clinton's benefit, not for hers. Clinton loves to watch her run after her toy and then gets really excited when she comes running back to us. Anyway, back to this morning...I put Clinton in his Johnny Jump Up hung in the doorway that connects our bedroom to our bathroom. This being his new favorite place, it's where I put him while I shower. So I took my shower singing songs to him the whole time so he would know I was still there. When I got done I got out and saw the saddest, sweetest thing. Gracie had laid her favorite toy at Clinton's feet...I guess in the hopes that maybe he would play with her. Instead Clinton just jumped on the toy and Gracie was sitting and staring at her toy and whimpering as if she had lost all hope of ever getting to play again! I think she realized this morning she was officially demoted. Speaking of demoted, a few weeks ago while at my parents', mother cut in front of me for the bathtub. She also left her email wide open on the computer in the next room. I snuck in and sent an email from her to Chelsea about her new rank in the family.

My Dearest Chelsea,

For years I have treated you as a princess, giving you everything you have ever wanted and more. I have loved you endlessly and served you tirelessly. I hope that all my hard work and love has been appreciated. Please know that all my efforts were not without cost. No, I pushed your poor sister to the side as she tried time and again to win my love. But in spite of all her effort, I chose you time after time. I am sure I have damaged her in some ways, but luckily she is a strong soul and has come out almost completely unscarred. While my love for you was well worth it and definitely genuine, the time has come for me to reevaluate my priorities and I am sorry to say you have been demoted from the top of the list. Clinton is now my number one love and will be getting all of my love and attention. Please do not make this harder on any of us by asking me for money, calling me with your situations, or expecting too many hugs when Clinton is around. I am sure I will be able to give you some attention here and there, but don't push it. I should also point out that since your sister has provided me with Clinton, she will not be demoted from her number 2 spot. Yes, this means you have tied for 3rd with Gracie Mae. I hope you understand and take this like a grown up.

With partial love,

Your Mother

While I often crack myself up, not everyone agrees all with me all the time. Luckily, mother and dad thought it was really funny and Chelsea knew as soon as she read it that it wasn't from her dear mother, but yours truly.

Beachy Baby

We survived our first road trip with our baby boy. We braved a 7 1/2 hour drive with a 3 1/2 month old who is quickly learning to voice his opinions about things. On the way down, he slept the whole way and then slept all night at the hotel. We were so proud of our "perfect" baby. As the days went on and his schedule was severely altered, our child went from perfect to not-so-perfect...to put it nicely. The last night we went out to dinner, Rodney and I had to box up our dinner and eat it cold in the hotel because Clinton was so loud with his screaming we were embarrassed to stay at the restaurant. Don't get me wrong, he was pleasant the first four nights we went out...but the last night was a doozie. And the ride home was even worse. I'm sure he had good reasons for crying....but it broke my heart and gave me a headache...and Rodney was able to cut the drive to 6 1/2 hours.

While we enjoyed being off of work and being away from home, I learned a whole new lesson about what vacations are like with children (well, a child)....especially a baby. My last few vacations consisted of relaxing over nice dinners, sitting back and having a few drinks, and enjoying some type of grown up activity...snow skiing, snorkeling, hiking. This trip, while nice, was more work than vacation. Every morning I had run through the agenda for the day to see what I needed to pack. I then had to get the baby dressed, get myself dressed (something I don't have to do everday with a home office), apply sunscreen to me and baby, get the baby fed (which Rodney helped with every morning), and then begin the actual packing. Bottles, premeasured formula, water for the bottles, extra outfit, extra diapers, swimmer diapers, wipes, sunscreen, pajamas in case we don't return until late, toys to entertain him, medicine for our teething child, sun hat, blanket, extra blanket, burp rags, Bumbo in case he wants to sit by himself, Johnny Jump Up in case he wants to play, Baby Bjorn in case I need to carry him around and my arms are tired, car seat because you can't go anywhere without it, and a cooler with every drink or bite to eat we might need in case a bar or restaurant wasn't near by. Then once all this was packed, we had to haul it to the car and head down the road from our hotel room to Rodney's family's condo. And while we were prepared for everything, the day was still dictated by a baby's schedule. Anytime Clinton got tired or fussy, I had to excuse myself from whatever activity the group was participating in to feed him or put him down for a nap. And my new, grown up swim suit was usually covered in slobber or spit up, while my hair was never fixed but securely tied up, out of my face in order to keep tiny hands from pulling it out of my head. Now I understand what I heard so many grown ups say growing up, "I need a vacation from my vacation."

Check out pics below.

Clinton with Daddy before we went out for our last dinner.


Getting ready to hike down to the beach...and I'm only carrying half the load...Rodney had the other half.


This sums up how mommy and baby felt about the beach...too windy, too sandy, too sunny. I think we lasted about 27 minutes before we packed everything back up and headed back to the condo.


Clinton "swimming" at the hotel. This lasted about 23 minutes before we had to pack it up and go back up to the room for a nap.


All ready for the first day at the "Lazy River". We lasted about 24 minutes before we had to pack it up and head back to the condo for a bottle...and then a nap.


...all pooped out.

Check Out Clinton's Pics...

Clinton had his three month pictures done a couple of weeks ago. They can be viewed at www.eventpix.com. Type in Clinton Williams for the event name and the password is Courtney. To our family--we are not yet sure what we will be ordering, but we know for sure we will not be able to provide everyone with an 8x10...please feel free to order one for yourself off of the website if you would like one. Hope you enjoy the pics!! Lots of love--Courtney

Morning Moments

This morning I awoke to the sounds of my little boy playing in his bed. I looked at the clock relieved to find it was already 5am. I now see 5am as a positive because it's better than the occasional 3am we encounter. I would like to give my son full credit for being such a good sleeper, but then sometimes I like to think it's God giving me a tiny break in this whirlwind of motherhood. I found my son in his bed being his usual happy-morning self. He grinned at me, gave me a few happy kicks, and talked to me (well, I call it talking, you might call it just making noise) while I changed his diaper. I headed upstairs to give him his bottle--TIME OUT - I know some of you have been confused about why I go upstairs to feed Clinton when his room and ours are downstairs. It's because our bonus room is upstairs and that's where my new La-Z-Boy recliner is. Ok, TIME IN-- so, I headed upstairs to feed Clinton. He took his bottle like a champ, without even getting it on his new Tennessee Volunteers nightgown (wrong UT, I know...sometimes Daddy gets his way), and then gave me a huge burp...you would think it's Rodney if you didn't actually see Clinton doing it...he burps like a grown man. After such a great feeding, I took advantage of my full-bellied, sleepy baby and just rocked him...not for his benefit, but for mine. He's just getting so big, so fast, I just want to hold on to him every second that I can...because I want to be one of the mothers who can let go when it's time...I've always appreciated that about my mother. Anyway, as I rocked him he laid his sweet block head on my shoulder, wrapped his right little arm around my bony left shoulder, and held onto my right sleeve with his precious little left fist. I patted his back and just listened to him breathe. When I was certain he must be asleep, I looked down to see he was wide awake just taking in the moment with me. I'm sure he won't remember this morning, but it will be one of those memories that I will get to hold on to for a very long time.

**Just a little side note. We were in Texas last week (without a camera) and heading to the beach this afternoon (with a camera). When we get back, I will post pictures from both trips. For now, check out pictures of Clinton in Texas on Samantha's blog. She's the "Kadish Family" link of the left hand side of this page.**

Hope everyone has a great Holiday Weekend!

Love to all--Courtney

Things I've Learned from My Son...

In just his few short months this tiny little man has taught me several very important lessons that only a baby could. I look forward to seeing what new things he's going to learn each day, like discovering his hands, figuring out how to hold his own bottle (a dream of mine), realizing a smile from him will get a smile from me, creating baby babble music as I sing to him, and many other baby miracles. However, in the midst of watching him learn, I too, am learning a few lessons of my own.

1. TRUE LOVE DOESN'T JUDGE. Today my hair got thrown in a pony without being brushed, my make up consisted of nothing more than moisturizer and mascara, my outfit took no effort and appeared as such, and I've still got about 10 pounds of baby weight to shed. Yes, if I had stood in front of the mirror today, I would have felt really bad about myself and maybe had a good cry. However, my day was mostly dedicated to a little man who snuggled up against my chest looking for a safe place, gave me lots of coos which I interpreted as "I love you, Mommy" "You're the best, Mommy" "We have so much fun, Mommy", and he gave me the most flirtatious and heart melting smiles and laughs. So while the rest of the jaded world would have looked at me and judged me today, my son's pure little heart made me feel beautiful inside and out.

2. RESTED IS A STATE OF MIND. Pre-Baby I felt any night that did not consist of 8 to 10 hours of solid sleep, was not a good night and made me very tired. There were many afternoons that required a nap. My how things have changed. Now I am grateful for even 6 hours of solid sleep and I don't even kid myself with the idea of a nap....that doesn't mean I don't occasionally fall asleep at my computer or feeding Clinton, but I don't intentionally nap. Somehow I can now get up at 3am or 4am or 5am and go all day. And with so little sleep I can still get in 6 hours of work for my paying job, wash bottles several times a day, get a load or two of laundry done, unload the dishwasher, get myself fed at least twice a day, change 2,435 diapers, conduct 250 feedings, dry a few baby tears, sing 60-70 baby songs, play peek a boo, shower, and whatever else is needed....and even after that I could still muster up enough energy to save the world if my son asked me to....whew, thank goodness he can't talk yet!

3. ONLY THE NECESSITIES ARE WORTH CRYING OVER. Some of you who know me may think I'm a little demanding or maybe have my standards set a little high or maybe you've worded it as "whiney". Clinton has amazed me with his ability to just be content. His crying is often limited only to indicate hunger, dirty britches, gas bubbles in the tummy, and sleepiness. If his belly is full and settled and his diaper is dry, he can lay on the floor and just talk and laugh and squeal. He's not crying to watch a particular show on TV, he's not upset that he doesn't have a friend (other than me) to hang out with, he's not searching for some yummy junk food to snack on because he's bored, and he doesn't even get upset when we can't go to Target and buy a bunch of fun stuff. No, he only cries when necessary...something I need to strive for...I'm sure Rodney would appreciate it if I could follw Clinton's lead. :-)

4. ...AND START EVERYDAY WITH A SMILE. Over the past week or two, Clinton has been waking us up, not with crying, but with cooing and laughing. When one of us goes to get him out of his crib, he greets us with a huge smile followed by a couple of his happy kicks. When you see him you can't help but smile with him, making the early morning waking worth every second.

Approaching 3 Months...

Mmm..tasty.


Just hangin' out.

Discovering my hands.

What?

Aaah!

To my mother...

To all my girlfriends who have just had their first child or are expecting...Samantha, Whitney, Heather, Holly, Meagan, Leslie...how much respect do you now have for your mother? I know when I got married my respect for my mother increased, but now that I have survived my first pregnancy and have become immersed in motherhood, I am in complete awe of her. For starters, my mother embraced motherhood being four years younger than I am now. Sometimes I'm still not sure I'm old enough to be so responsible, yet here I am. Secondly, I never knew what it meant to love someone so much...and with that comes an overwhelming responsibility. I feel it's my job to interpret his every cry, meet his every need, protect him from everything, teach about everything around him, and make sure he understands he's loved and safe. I suddenly understand how much my mother loves me and feel very ashamed of a number of things I might have said to her between the ages of 12 and 18....Mother, please forgive me. And lastly, I'm exhausted...and my mother had two of us pretty close together. We get up at 4am, I feed the baby, put the baby back to bed, work for a couple of hours, play with the baby when he gets up, try to get a walk in, put the baby down for a nap, work some more, play with the baby again, try to get dinner ready (Rodney fills in here, too), bathe the baby, put the baby back to bed around 9pm, try to get some laundry done, maybe take a shower, and crash around 11pm. Of course, when Rodney's home I do get a few more breaks...but even then I'm not resting...it's laundry or dishes or something else around the house....and I'm only on my first child. I've still got another one or two to go. So Mother, please accept this ranting as a standing ovation in your honor. Suddenly, I greatly appreciate all the class parties you hosted, the slumber parties you put together, the miles you drove for all our extracurricular activities, the outfits you made, the meals you prepared for the cross country team, the pillow cases you made for the cheerleading squad, the dance recitals you coordinated, the vacations you planned, the snacks you had ready for us after school, the lunches you packed every morning, the ironing you did every day before school, the endless sports events you attended, the home cooked meals we had almost every night, the checks you wrote so we didn't have to sell crap for fundraisers, the shopping trips you took us on for school clothes, the arguments you mediated between us girls, and the countless other mother miracles you performed. If I haven't said it before, THANK YOU...can't wait to see you!

Okay...now that I've gotten a few things off my chest, check out my adorable son and his shirt completely covered in slobber...Mother said it must be hereditary...and not from Rodney.