Heidi Sage: Entertainer, Artist, Free Spirit

Well my last update was just before we picked up our family of six, moved to a new state, and started a new life with an absence of all things familiar.  While we have managed to settle, mingle, and feel at home, it has been an overwhelmingly busy 6 months.  But that story is for another day.  Today I want to pick up where I left off, and up next is my almost 5 year old darling.

Heidi Sage is my walking Broadway production.  She is always just a breath away from a full volume rendition of any top 20 pop song.  Or should the wind blow a different direction she could be found in a full-on diva-like meltdown of epic proportions over the color of sucker she got at the bank window.  Or should the stars align, she can give the most dramatic, excited, appreciative reaction to a gift or act of kindness toward her.  Whether it's her uninhibited love for her little sister or displeasure over French toast for breakfast, she can make you feel whatever she is feeling whether through song or dramatics.  At any given moment I can feel both exhausted and refreshed by her raw emotion.

One of her favorite things to do is draw pictures for people.  She spends hours practicing her drawings. Giraffes, elephants, flowers, rainbows, fairies, cars, houses, people all have been the subjects of her many drawings.  When she sets her mind to it, she can figure out a way to portray it on paper.  I love her ability to capture her vision.

Heidi Sage's fashion sense is an ongoing development.  It is still very much her own, and it's what makes her feel comfortable in her own skin.  Stripes go with stripes, regardless of color.  Pink goes with pink, regardless of shade or pattern.  Cupcakes go with cupcakes, period.  She loves dresses and skirts. Has only two pairs of shorts she's willing to wear.  And loves a cute pair of tights or leg warmers.  It's important to her to always have her hair fixed just right.  She likes it flat on top, and decorated with beautiful clips, headbands, and pony tail holders.  Occasionally, she'll add a hair bow to the mix.  Her concern is never what other people think is beautiful, but for others to love what she thinks is beautiful. She reminds me of a little sister I grew up with not too many moons ago.

Heidi Sage has a wild imagination.  She tells me about her very vivid dreams.  They are always children's book worthy.  She makes up songs on the spot.  She freestyles…at four…and it's impressive. She loves to be read to and can't wait to learn to read.  I can't wait until she can read Heidi.

And this sweet girl is already planning her future.  She talks about when she gets married and has kids. She hasn't decided yet how many she is going to have just yet.  Maybe 1, 2, 3 or 4, she says.  She also wants to be a chef when she grows up.  She spends lots of time in the kitchen with me helping make dinner, baking treats for her class, and just asking to learn how to do things.  And she says she's going to be a singer on a big stage with a microphone.  So she spends a lot of time singing…in the kitchen…or wherever she may be.

Heidi Sage loves to know things.  She asks question after question.  When she realizes she's mispronouncing a word, she asks me to sound it out slowly for her and she practices it until she gets it.  If she ever figures out her pronunciation of callepitter is wrong and corrects it, I might just die.  It's my favorite.

She's going to be my storyteller.  She'll hold our family's legacy in her mind.  She listens when I tell her stories about my childhood or my grandmother or the day she was born.  She retells me the stories at the most opportune and appropriate times.  These are green beans.  You used to eat these out of your grandmudder's garden when you were little.  *  I was the tiniest baby you ever had, wasn't I?  You thought I was so cute.  *  I love my name because it's special.  Thank you for giving me such a special name.  We have the same middle name, and Heidi was a brave little girl.  I'm brave, too.

Every night when I snuggle her to sleep we swap I love yous.  I love you more than all the seashells.  I love you more than all the stars.  I love you more than all the leaves in the yard.  And she ends it every night with, I love you more than anything.  Every night I take a deep breath and just soak it up.  Motherhood is hard.  It's exhausting.  It's more work than I ever expected.  But the sweet nothings kids so innocently lay on your ears are the fuel that keeps you running every day.  They fill us emotionally and drain us physically, and somehow one makes up for the other.

I can't wait to see how she'll grow each day, and yet I long for the littleness of yesterday.  But inevitably the tomorrows come, and I hope to always be by her side cheering for her, guiding her, and being present for her as best I can.  I can see this one with her name up in lights or on a living room floor covered in kids.  I look forward to seeing her best dreams come true…whatever she decides they may be.